blog date; 01/01/2026

new beginnings

Wow! Life sure goes on, doesn't it? I didn't even realize how fast 2025 went by. And I completely wasted it! Argggh... ୧(๑•̀ᗝ•́)૭!!!

Welp, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. As of today I quit my job with prior notice, having worked at the same place for a few months now, in a day, I'll get my CompTIA A+ Core V1 and V2 access, and I plan to do nothing but study, study and study. I'm going to go into IT! There is no other future! I WILL be a Help Desk Technician! This is how I'll start living the life I want!

And, before you think, "Yaranaika, you're just confident because It's 6 in the morning and you haven't even started yet! Once you start, you'll slack off!" And to that I say... Maybe. I'm not going to delude myself, and I'm a realist. However, what I end up doing will, in the end, be my sole responsibility. And I'm tired of going where life takes me. I'm tired of my relatives asking around for jobs for me, I'm tired of relying on minimum wage from places I despise working at.

Don't get me wrong, in my last job (wow feels weird to say) I loved the environment, I loved my coworkers, who were all sad to see my go. I loved interacting with customers. I've made some great friends working behind the bar, had deep philosophical conversations with lots of people. Met people like me, people who shared my experiences and my past insecurities. But alas, working at a hotel is not for me. I always knew being around computers is what I wanted. Even as a kid, in the days of glorious Windows XP, I remember that our computer case's side panel was broken off, so it was just open. I remember pressing the power button and watching how the CPU fan spun to life, the low-quality 2000's blue LED's in the fan dimly coming to life, I remember the first time I put my hand in the GPU's fan and how much it hurt because it was spinning at max speed. (hehe) Even when I didn't know what I was looking at, I was always fascinated by this awesome box of weird circuitry that opened the door to the internet. It seemed like literal magic back then! Which, it still does, even if I know what everything does now, everytime I *really* think about it, I get the same feelings I got as a kid. This is magic in the real world, and I can control it.

Before we entered 2026, a good friend of mine told me to roll a Touhou-themed fortune card. Now, I don't believe in these things, but the card I pulled was pretty accurate to my current plans.

Fortune: Only once will the opportunity of a big change appear. If now is a good time, avoid any transformation. Make the best of your situation.

Starting off, it's already accurate to my current situation. And if this card is to be taken seriously, (which, it isn't, but let me have fun, 'kay?) this is all the confirmation I need to take the A+ cert seriously! I know I have to make the best of my situation and I want to, I think this works well with the fact that I'm NEET for a while again. (This time on my own accord) I already told me family and relatives to not look for jobs for me and that I would study for the A+, so I have some time to really get this ball rolling.

Body: For a chance to improve your ability, train during the night.

I've always preferred nighttime, so this one really speaks to me. I know that if I study during the night, I'll be left alone and distracted less. Making nights prime time to study for the A+.

Travel: Stay away from crowds.

Hmm... I'm an introvert anyway. So no biggie! ٩(^ᗜ^ )و

Business: Looks favorable, but it depends on the changes that happen.

More confirmation that I gotta take the A+ like it's very srsbsns™

Studies: Influenced by the age of the moon.

Age of the moon...? Perhaps I'll get a buff when it's a full moon... Who knows? But I'll study as much as I can, anyway.

Love: If you are humble, things will look up.

Not sure about a relationship, I really want to focus on having a foothold in the IT field right now. I feel like a relationship would probably complicate things. (Wow, my frontal lobe is actually developing.)

Money: Splurge on full moon nights.

Yup, this one speaks to me painfully. I'm terrible at managing money, so I will actually make this a rule. Whatever I need to get, (except for the A+ cert) I'll buy it in a full moon night. No matter what it is! Even snacks! I need some discipline money wise.

Lost Items: On full moon nights, you'll lose something important. You'll also lose your memory.

Don't know what to make of this... Spooky...

Attire: It's auspicious to not show too much skin.

Well, it *is* winter. I don't want to catch the flu... again. Had it for the past 3 days and it sucks.

On another note, I stopped smoking again. I went 10 months without one before, so I'm confident in my ability to quit again. I think my body is actually handling a nicotine addiction pretty well honestly. I barely have cravings, and when I do I just force myself to think or do anything else for 10 seconds or so, and it slowly dissipates. Money is a huge reason why I want to quit. I threw out my vapes, broke my cigarettes etc. This wasn't something I planned ahead for new years per se, it was a spur of the moment thing. As I'm writing this I went 3 days and 8 hours without nicotine in my system. Main reason I started smoking again was due to some terrible news I got, I couldn't handle them properly and at the time, I tried to calm down by smoking. I really regret that now, but I understand why I did it.

I've also been trying to not grow hatred in my heart anymore. It's a very tedious process, because I have very good reasons to be hateful towards a certain someone, but... I need to forgive whether I want to or not. When I hold hate for anyone in my heart, they still have control over me, even if they aren't present.

I've also been eating less lately. I noticed I don't have an appatite as much as I did few months ago. I intend to keep it this way, because I want to be skinny again, I put on too much weight in 2025!!!

I hope this year will go swimmingly. Having things to look forward to, plans, dreams, it's a great feeling. One I forgot for too long.