blog date; 9/12/2025
It's been well over three months since I last did anything with my site. It's been sitting in Neocities limbo ever since. I've wanted to update it many times, but I’ve either felt burnt out or unable to focus enough to do anything with it. That turned into a self-feeding cycle: I feel the urge to update > I can’t focus > I feel like I can’t accomplish anything. I tend to feel pretty low when I’m unable to follow through on the things I want to do, whether it’s because of my untreated ADHD or other factors. This pattern has been with me since childhood. Whenever I hit a wall, I quickly fall into a self-deprecating mindset. Getting fired from two jobs back to back definitely didn’t help. Now, I don’t really know what to do. I’ve just been NEETing for the past week. Honestly, I enjoy the freedom of being a NEET, but the pressure of knowing I’ll eventually run out of money hangs over me.
Most of my days (at least lately) consist of waking up around noon, playing Minecraft or other games, watching videos online, and just drifting. On the bright side, I’ve started lifting weights again, and slowly but surely, I’ve been losing some weight. At least I’m not transforming into Gregor Samsa… (yet?) I’ve been NEET for years before, but it’s only in the past week that it’s really started to feel different. I think it’s because, for the first time in a long while, I’ve had a glimpse of what life could be like. It’s as if I’ve stepped out of the cave and now I can’t see the shadows the same. I used to be fine with being flat broke, but now every purchase feels like a source of anxiety. The worst part might be realizing that, despite everything, this is still my comfort zone.
Welp, enough of the cynicism, here's the tour of my Minecraft world for the past 2 days. Also, voice reveal.
Here it is. I don't even care.